Success in God's terms

Before training for Ordination I was privileged to be on the staff team of Christ Church Clifton in Bristol. If you don't know it, it's a relatively large, fairly affluent, mostly anglican church in one of, if not the, most affluent areas of Bristol.

It's really easy in that context to be lost in the success of the place, and the people who live in the surrounding area.

The church is surrounded by huge townhouses over many floors. Lots of these have been converted into flats over the years, although some remain as houses. Even the flats cost more than a large detached house would in most parts of the UK and the complete houses are eye-waveringly expensive. To live in this area, you either had to have inherited a lot of money, or have had great success in your career.

Interestingly, however, as you go around the back of most of the houses you'll find lots of alleyways. In times gone by these were used by the servants to access the basement and servants quarters. If, like me, you're quite tall, you're able to see over the fences into some of the back yards. When you do, you see that they are often (but not always) not matched with the pristine, polished exteriors which present to you at the front of the house. Like their neighbours in less affluent areas of the city, these small back yards often contain old bikes, sofas, washing machines and broken sheds. The reality of life in these areas is that much of what looks to be perfect, looks to be successful, is simply a front. An effort to keep up with the Jones' or more accurately the Wellington-Smyths.

I expect some people who live in those houses do so without much financial concern, but I suspect many are mortgaged up to their eyeballs, with some residents having to work really hard to simply pay the bills. The success of the frontage, doesn't always match the truth on the inside.

I wonder (and have no evidence for this) if the rise in those suffering from depression and anxiety has anything to do with the success culture which find ourselves in today. There is a huge pressure on us to perform, to be all that we can be, to be a star and to succeed. We are told we are all special (which, I don't disagree with!) and we can all be the best if we push ourselves.

The reality, which we sometimes forget, is that if 10 people enter a competition, 9 of them are unlikely to be chosen to be 'the best'. That doesn't mean those 9 aren't good, or even brilliant. It doesn't mean they don't have value, it just means that they haven't won. I'm not saying that ambition is bad. I'm not even saying we should strive to do our best.I'm suggesting that this success culture has a shadow side, one which can creep in without us noticing.

By the time I went for my first BAP (basically a large scale interview to be a Vicar) I had (at the age of 24) gotten every job which I had applied for. This isn't a boast, just a simple fact. As I called it my 'first' BAP you will have realised I did not get accepted the first time round and in truth, I was devastated.

Some of the work that I needed to do with God over the next few years was around this area of success, and ultimately the person or thing in whom I was putting my trust. I went into that first BAP mostly trusting myself, my past successes, my preparation and my ability to perform well at interview. I went into my second (and final!) BAP completely trusting God, whatever the result.

I'd like to suggest that this lack of trust is the shadow side of our success driven culture. Perhaps at times, and in some areas of our lives, we find ourselves unable to act with the child like trust which we should have.

This is not how God would have it. In morning prayer a few days ago we had Psalm 73. In it the psalmist writes to God, "Yet I am with you always, you hold me by my right hand". As we reflected on it we loved how this image is one of us, as his child, being led by a loving parent - rather than one of independent adults, with no need for God. The usual "you are always with me" changes to "I am always with you". Subtle but important, the latter suggesting reliance on the one we are always with.

I'd like to suggest that success, in God's terms, is not about getting a great job, it's not about earning lots of money, it's not even about passing an exam or an interview. It's about trusting God in the outcome, regardless of what it is.

A few friends have said to me this weekend as I've got ordained "It's great, you've finally reached your ambition". This has really jarred inside me and this post is the result of me reflected on why. I think it's because, to me, it speaks of that success culture. It wasn't (at least by the time I was ordained) my ambition to get ordained.

It was and is my ambition to hear God's call and to be faithful to it. On this occasion I (and others) have believers that he called me to be ordained, but God may have other plans in the future, the only success/ambition I need and want, is to be faithful.

Sometimes, faithfulness will look like success. If I were trying to get into Med School to follow a call to be a doctor, I would have to push myself, work hard and get excellent results in my exams.

Sometimes, however, faithfulness can look (at least to the world) like failure. I was a top performing salesman in the job I had before working for Christ Church. As such I took a substantial pay cut when I left. Suddenly the nice house, car and lifestyle had to change, but I was following a call, I was successful in God's terms, even if my bank manager didn't agree!

As you pray, maybe you'll join me in praying for those so caught up in being 'successful' in 'achieving' that they have lost sight of what is important. Pray also for those who have 'seen the light' or those who never needed to in the first place. Those content with life, and in doing whatever it is they are called to. Pray that in all things we would be people who come before the Lord, trusting him, like children, as we take his hand and he guides us.